According to a source very close to the President, the world’s most powerful man isn’t half bad at racing on the Rainbow Road.
There are many qualities to take into consideration when voting for your head of government, including their temperament, their vision for the country, and their level of experience for the job. But it doesn’t hurt to know how they fare in the Flower Cup, playing Nintendo’s best-loved racing game.
In an Instagram story the President’s granddaughter, Naomi Biden, showed the Commander-in-Chief commanding the race course behind the wheel of a Mario Kart arcade machine, with the caption reading: “A little rusty but he still won (barely)”. This implies that Biden was once an unassailable champ at the family-friendly racing game, which isn’t too hard to believe when you consider that he has seven grandchildren.
Rudyard Kipling’s poem If posited that the true measure of a man was whether he could “meet with triumph and disaster, and treat those two imposters just the same”. I humbly submit that nothing could better test a man’s mettle than losing out on the podium’s top spot due to an incoming blue shell at the last second.
Following the farcical debates last year, perhaps a more edifying prospect would be to see the prospective Presidential candidates face off in a series of video game contests, winner takes all.
An additional benefit is that it could work as on-the-job training; chillingly, Xbox controllers are reportedly used to direct weapons systems in the military due to soldier’s instinctive familiarity with the buttons. The above Instagram story was posted from Camp David, the US Navy building from which American Presidents have directed overseas wars for decades.